This is the first of two good quotes I heard today. Unfortunately I don't know who to credit for the first. The second however I heard from @ryanmichler of @orderofman fame. "Your job as a father is to make yourself obsolete." I hate that. I mean I know its true to some extent, but it breaks my heart.
Listen guys, we as fathers are taught very early in the process that we are irreplaceable. That our job is to protect and pass on. Like a football. And some portion of that holds true. I will be my daughters ONLY father. And protection of my family comes as second nature. But there is so much more to raising girls than simply keeping them from harm until they are old enough to be given to their husbands.
Fathers, our responsibility and charge is so much larger than that. These tiny little humans we have been tasked with raising are complex, ever changing and will one day impact others in ways we could never imagine. When you are confronted with a problem, ask for their opinion. Give them responsibility, possibly before they are ready for it. Lead courageously and dare them to follow. And if your not too old to keep up, let them lead. I promise you will be impresses where you end up.
It is our role to prepare them for adventure. It's not just enough to deliver them safely. Its our job to deliver them whole. Ready to seek adventure, question convention, stand when others won't and lead when the time is right.
We are NOT raising someone's prize. We ARE raising Daughters of the King.
Prepare them well.
No one splits firewood and then leaves it lying ungathered in the rain. No blacksmith toils to fashion an ax only to leave it dull.
Yet every day fathers help give life to their children, then leave the the parenting to their wives. We show up for the shows but hide for the emotion.
Fathers, you are raising leaders. Pillars that will help support generations of families, communities and even nations. Your daughters need you to show up, every day.
Be relentless in your pursuit of your daughters. Chase their growth without end. Love them fiercely. Defend them without fail and instruct them through your example.
Fatherhood is not a part-time job. It is a calling. Rise to it.
When all is stripped away, what is a man if he cannot be counted on to fulfill his commitments in times of trouble? Why has it become acceptable to buckle when we encounter resistance? Why do we leave others to clean up our mess with just a shrug of our shoulders and a muttered "I tried"? I will tell you this Fathers. If we cannot come to work when we feel ill, sit down and hammer out a compromise when our families are at stake, assume the risk and responsibility without asking what's in it for us then what chance do our daughters have in this world?
It is not for you to determine if the burden is too heavy. It is only to realize that every task pales in comparison to the responsibility of raising your children.
Get to work!
Her brain processes 20 million billion pieces of information every second. The feel of the floor and the chill in the air. The feeling of the fabric slippers tightening on her feet. The anticipation of her first performance. And your words. Your encouragement. When she looks up, the recognition of your gaze.
In that moment she will process 20 million billion pieces of information. You determine the content of those electrical impulses. Your words, your actions. Your encouragement. Your love
When she meets your gaze, what will she think?
Every waking moment your daughter is a test of, and a testament to, your fatherhood.
Rise to the occasion.
***DISCLAIMER*** I struggle with this daily.
I stopped by the store today to pick up a few things for work. When I tried to check out though, the card scanner couldn't read my cards chip. After a couple of tries the cashier dove into a rant about how the company doesn't care and how they make a huge amount of money and it would be no problem to buy a new card reader.
I didn't need to hear that. If you hate your job or your company that much, quit. I mean really, quit.
How do you speak about your responsibilities? I know how I do, and it's something that I need to fix. If you come home every day and complain to your family about how bad you have it, you're simply showing them that it's ok to be stuck. You're teaching your daughters that complacency is to be expected and unhappiness is a thing to simply be endured, without challenge. I'm not suggesting that every day, or even certain seasons of life cannot and will not be challenging. But complaint without action simply shows your daughters you can't or won't do better.
No man is trapped in his circumstances. No man. The only question is what will you prioritize and what are you willing to sacrifice?
Happy times with the Godfathers and minions! Took us long enough but the team is finally all together! #tribe#fathersofdaughters
3 1605:26 AM Dec 2, 2018
I took my youngest ice skating today. We like a good skate on dry land but only get to ice skate during the holidays. The rink was filled with little kids stomping and sliding, teens standing, looking awkward and moms doing their best to hold upright the various flailing arms and legs they bought tickets for. But it was the outside of the rink though that caught my attention.
Not a single father set foot on the ice today.
Watching the crowded ice filled sweaty creased brow out of control children and their only slightly more in control moms, every single father sat it out.
Why are we content to be spectators in the building of our own legacies? To whom will we commission the greater lessons to? How long can we pass off the practice and art of fatherhood to our wives while we stand blank faced on the sidelines?
What did you do today?
Will she remember it?